the pasing of a family member

tonight i went to a memorial for one of my past coworkers. i hadn’t seen him in some time and to hear of his passing was really shocking to me and Talia, seeing as she knew him from high school.

its funny when i worked for the boys and girls clubs i was young not yet married to Talia and still living with my mom. it seems so long ago looking back and thinking about my time at the club.

Anthony started maybe a year after i did. he was a nice guy but a jock in high school and was even until his passing. it wasn’t we didn’t get along he just did his thing and me being into computers we didn’t have much in common. but like i said we still talked and respected each others in our jobs. even when i made a once in awhile visit to the club we still talked.

but there was things we didn’t agree on,what can i say we were young he was the same age as me. we were both young and immature.

well the other day me and my friend Angie got a call from another old coworker saying that he passed away all i could say was, what? shocked and in disbelief.

its funny cause even until this day i still love the club. i miss the kids i miss the fun. i miss everything about the club. there are times i wish i still worked there but it was time for me to move on. its funny cause when you work for the club its like your a family, and even now they still seem like my family. i think there is just something about working for a place like the club and seeing those kids grow up before your eyes and you being able to just try to have a impact on those kids. there is nothing like that feeling.

i worked there for about 3 years. and in that time came across many children, many of them who even now see me in the community and say hello to me. its really surprising to see kids taller than you that you used to chase around the room and tickle all grown up.

well tonight i went back to the club to see people i hadn’t seen in some time and to see kids i hadn’t seen in some time too. and to be back in that gym under these circumstances i felt sad. i felt sad for Anthony’s family, the club, the kids, it really broke my heart to see the kids and family having to go through this. it really made me miss the club and my club family. yes it was nice to see those kids still remembering me and saying hi to me but i felt guilty at the same time, why?

because i felt at that moment and time that i abandoned them and left them. yes I’m sure they were fine with the other staff. but i really felt sad, even now it still affects me. but me being there and under the circumstances i really felt that i let my club family down.

i don’t know whats in store for the club but i hope that it is ok in the end. its just weird and scary seeing the club without a leader right now. i hope someone comes along and takes care of the club. there are many people that work for the clubs and let me not forget teachers too that have dedicated there life to helping the youth of the world grow into decent human beings. i respect that cause i still believe that it can happen, that people still can have a impact on this world and can change it.

like i said i hope and pray for the club right now that they make it past this part.
i hope the kids come out ok.
i hope the staff are ok too.
i hope the club can overcome the loss of one of its family members and push forward.

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