the smell of his blood was on my hands

tonight talia made me murder. 

yep murder. 
earlier talia told me it was time to get rid of the tree. i always feel so bad for the tree it always seems like they are there for our enjoyment and then when we are done loving them we throw them away. don’t get me wrong i wouldn’t have a fake christmas tree but when talia gives him a name and then i grow attached to the tree i hate it. 
so like every year i neglected for 2 days in throwing away the tree. he still smelled and was green so i didn’t feel right about throwing him out. and i can understand wanting to get rid of him because it can become a fire hazard. well earlier talia made me take him out and throw him away. 
i felt bad
i had his sap on my hands and his fragrant smell didn’t wash off. 
am i the only one who feels this way? i don’t know. 
but i came inside from throwing him out and now there are some needles laying on the floor and a open spot where he sat. 
so now im feeling guilty over wallace’s demise. 
poor tree.