responsible parents

so i have been thinking about this story that my coworker was telling me about a incident here on the reservation that happened about 3 weeks ago.

so she tells me one weekend her husband was on his way to work and as he was driving the cars in front of him suddenly stopped and were going around something in the road. he was thinking it was a dog or something in the intersection. and on closer inspection he noticed that it was 2 children. out in the middle of a busy road that is usually frequented by semis and cars going at least 60 miles a hour.

2 children

one on a tricycle, one walking through the road naked and feet bloody from walking so far.

he stops and asks them what they are doing out there? they reply back to him they are hungry and are trying to go get a hamburger. he had some fruit in the car so he gave them that, the police where called and the officer says that they really cant do anything but take them home because the tribe has cut funding to social services.

so why am i still thinking about it today?

well its been in my mind and then it was brought up again by a elder. but over the last couple of weeks i have been thinking about what to put down here. i wanted to talk about it but really did not have words to say, something like that gets you thinking about the whole community, even the events in the world.

but on a more personal level about your children and the children in the community. as a tribe we have come from a strong people. thousands of years ago my ancestors were farming, they were artisans, they were architects in there own way. it has been proven that they dug many of the canals that are in use today around Arizona. the canals stretched hundreds of miles throughout the phoenix area. how can a people so strong and so intelligent forget about there young in this day and age?

i understand there were and are things in the past and present that are bringing us as a people down. don’t think that im one of those natives that is all gung-ho about how the white people or other people are bringing down the natives and all those other topics such as the young losing there culture. yes i believe that has happened but it goes deeper than that…

dont think that i dont care about those things

i do care.

i care about my familes future. i care about the children that are in the community. i care about us as a community, as a people. but what i don’t understand is what and where did this community go wrong? as i said before there has been alcoholism there has been drug abuse and even before that there was drought there was famine in the land. but still during that time there was still the “family values” “family morals” keeping us all together.

i believe we begin to blame other things around us for our own faults. there comes a place in your own life where you choose to do what you want. you can choose to get up every morning and go to work and make a family. or you choose to drink, do drugs, and ignore the world around you.  why do we continue to do this? in my own upbringing i was taken care off, yes those things where around me but still you in your own life make that choice. do i lead the life that my parents gave me or do i overcome that and go on my own life journey.

well back to the story today the elder came in and said that she heard the parents were at home sleeping,

sleeping i do not now if they were high or drunk.

but what gets me is as a parent you begin to look at life a whole different way.

it wakes you up.

it makes you realise that this little being you created depends on you, depends on you to feed it, keep it clothed, to keep it alive. even before i became a parent i would see people i know not doing those simple things, they rely on othere such as parents grandparents to do that for them.  it honestly gets on my nerves and makes me sick to my stomach to see parents approach life like that.

what it boils down to is irresponsibilty. parents not willing to give up there life for there children. wanting to continue to try and lead a life that they dont have no more. once you have a child your life completely changes.  i see parents all the time idiot father and mothers, fighting over things that are so stupid, money, going to party’s, hanging with friends, fighting over being split up, stupid childish things. passing there children from parent to parent or grandparent. not willing to take responsibly for there actions.

i dont get it.

it isnt that hard.

i have always thought you do what it takes to take care of your young if you have to take 2 jobs you do it. and this does not include selling drugs, stealing doing illegal things to better yourself or your family. its wrong and does not teach yourself hard work or responsibility. its nothing you can be proud of, yeah you have money but in the end you have not grown up any.

if you cant do that maybe you should think twice about having children. and if you think you have the guts to do it, do it.

don’t start and not finish.

i don’t know maybe I’m wrong maybe i don’t know what I’m talking about I’m a relatively new parent yes i don’t know all there is to raising a child I’m still learning. but you would think that a person for that matter would be willing to love there child enough to do what it takes to care for them. even if that means working yourself to death. our ancestors did that for there families they worked with there hands in the fields, on hot days in the summer in the cold and for what? to keep there families going.

why cant we do that now?

responsibility is earned not given….


2 thoughts on “responsible parents

  1. I didn’t intend to comment two times in a row, but this is so moving I can’t resist. Most of us who actually think about things have been agonizing over the deterioration of our cultural foundations- every and any culture’s foundations, not just that of the tribe. We know we can’t easily fix the problems, we know that even restoring funding for social services isn’t enough. Yes that might have helped feed those kids, but even a great social service isn’t going to get their parents out of bed and into a life of responsibility. As you pointed out, there are so many reasons why the foundations have collapsed- drought, drugs and alcohol and we could add civil wars, religious wars and on and on. But the foundation of the foundation (?) is spiritual values. It is the spiritual values that support everything else and enable people to live in ways that are productive, successful, happy. We are motivated to get up out of bed and work for what our families need if we have a spiritual foundation. Every human on the planet, no matter who or where they are has to find for themselves the reason for life and what we have to do to sustain it. If we do that it benefits everyone around us and far beyond, not just ourselves. Thanks again for another wonderful chapter in your blog!

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